More than 50 Oklahoma Farm Bureau members and guests attended the first Cultivating Healthy Minds webinar on Friday, Aug. 11.
How to Have the Conversation, the first in OKFB’s three-part mental wellness series, featured Adrienne DeSutter of Sow Hope, Grow Hope. Adrienne works with agriculture organizations and businesses to promote mental health in agriculture.
Part of a family farm herself, Adrienne is no stranger to the struggles farmers and ranchers face every day. She also knows how resilient the agriculture community is.
“We know that if something were to happen, or if some tragedy or some last-minute issues came up, there would be people around because of the community we have in agriculture,” she said.That same community that comes together to support each other in times of need does not always do the same when it comes to talking about mental health.
Adrienne emphasized the importance of having conversations about mental health but noted many shy away from these uncomfortable conversations, even with close friends and family.
“Talking about stress is really uncomfortable,” she said.
Adrienne has seen numerous times where the conversation comes far too late – like talking with surviving family at a funeral. She encourages others to have those important conversations before tragedy strikes.
“What if we got a little uncomfortable before a tragedy?” she said. “What if we got a little uncomfortable and had those conversations before we’re in a visitation line, before someone experiences loss, or even before someone has to go through those severe depressive episodes? What if we made it more normal to have conversations when people just look like they are struggling?”
Farmers and ranchers practice vigilant observation on their operations every day, whether it be noticing early signs of pests in their fields or spotting a sick animal before they display symptoms, and Adrienne believes that same vigilance can be used to notice when family, friends or neighbors are not themselves.
For Adrienne, recognizing something is wrong is only half of the equation – acting on the observation and talking with the person is crucial.
“We have to be the people that are comfortable with getting uncomfortable,” she said.
Adrienne shared three strategies to employ when talking with someone about their mental health and wellbeing, starting with listening to understand.
“Hear the words, and also hear the needs behind the words,” Adrienne said.
People often want to jump to problem-solving mode when they talk with someone in need, but rather than offering suggestions, the most important part is to listen, she said.
“When you are talking to someone you are concerned about, they may not even need your advice,” she said.
The second strategy Adrienne recommended is to use empathy when talking with someone to better understand them. She emphasized how people want to feel connected but often feel like others do not understand what they are going through.
“When you feel connected to someone or seen, it can help deter symptoms of suicide and symptoms of depression,” Adrienne said.
The final strategy she recommended is to validate the person’s feelings and to remember the person’s feelings are real, even when the cause behind them may not be.
“No matter how wrong or right a person is, their feelings are still real,” she said.
Adrienne said people often feel they don’t have the answers or the right things to say when they encounter someone in need, but she stressed the importance of simply listening and making them feel heard.
“You don’t have to be a doctor or therapist to show someone you care,” she said. “Our job is to be that front line of defense.”
In some instances, individuals may need to seek professional help, but that is something Adrienne recommends to everyone she encounters, whether they have a diagnosed condition or not.
“Therapists are for everyone,” she said. “It does not matter how stressed out you are or where you are on that continuum of your mental health. Anyone who wants to be a better human, a better parent or a better spouse can see a therapist, and a lot of good can be done.”
As a farmer’s wife, Adrienne knows farmers and ranchers can do hard things, and while she recognizes the conversations are uncomfortable, she is confident the agriculture community can learn to step up and help.
“Agriculture doesn’t only just step up,” she said. “We also seek. We seek to step up.”
As someone who talks with people daily about mental health, Adrienne’s motivation lies with the hope that follows these important conversations and encourages others to focus on hope, too.
“Where there is talk of stress, where there is talk of depression, where there is talk of suicide, there is also hope,” she said.
Visit the Cultivating Healthy Minds webpage to watch the recorded webinar and find information on upcoming sessions
